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Children's Grief is Unique
When a child has a death in their family, most adults in the situation don't know what to do with the kids. Do they go to the funeral? Do I answer their questions? Am I totally honest with what happened, the details? Should they see me cry? If I can't handle my own world right now, how can I do anything for the children's world? Help, help and more help.
When someone dies in an adult's life, grief is experienced on an adult level. All the realities of life that you have learned along the way to adulthood kicks in and helps you to let this sink into your world and be a part of your life. You understand the finality of death. You have probably had older relatives die and have maybe had a little experience with the funeral process. You have most likely known other people in your life that have someone close to them die. You have seen the news and people die all the time. It's real. It's forever. You, as an adult, understand that. You may not have faced the reality of death in your family yet, but you are not naive to it completely.
However, if you're a child, let's say 10 . . you are probably going to be 95% clueless as to what death REALLY means. It's on TV . . . it's in the news . . . it's at other people's schools . . . but what does it mean when it's YOU. Your dad, your brother, your mom, your sister, your best friend! It's means that this child is going to carry the lesson of grieving for the rest of their development, in addition to their life. It's here now, at a tender age, and it is very different than when you are of an adult mind to experience grief than of a child's mind experiencing grief.
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