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Allowing the natural feelings that arise within you and expressing them openly and honestly would be great. But what about when you're at work or at school and 'bursting into tears and having a good cry for an hour or two' just isn't going to do. . . it's okay to hold back, but don't bury the tears!
Why CAN'T I cry?
Because it's scary. If tears are held back or just don't come, it might be fear. It's not comfortable or normal to cry uncontrollably. You may feel like if you start you won't be able to stop. Just don't make yourself sick over it. And then some people just don't need to cry. It's just not coming to the surface like the other emotions. They seem to have more bouts of uncontrolled anger or fear then crying. Being honest to yourself and trying to feel what your heart needs to express and find a safe place to release these feelings is the greatest way to get relief from the build up of either crying . . . . or not crying.
Different grief for different people.
Different people certainly grieve differently. There are no set guidelines for grieving. Although there are many defined "stages of grief" in the world, many of today's grief experts don't buy the stages theory anymore. There is too much individuality in grief to compartmentalize anyone into thinking they can just go through some stages and be okay. Unfortunately, it's just not that simple. It is not that cut and dried. In real life, it just doesn't happen that way.
Your life has been changed forever. And that is where you need to start.
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